Learning to control bowel and bladder can be a big task for your toddler and there will be ‘accidents’ and problems. Remember that your toddler can’t ‘hold on’ to a wee or poo that is ready to come out.
If they’re busy playing, they won’t always notice that the wee or poo is coming until it starts to come out, or it’s too late to get to the toilet.
You can expect ‘accidents’ while they’re still learning.
Starting too soon
Starting too soon can cause problems.
You and others might want them to be ready by a certain time, such as when they turn 2 or before you go on holiday. But you really have to wait until they are ready, even if it doesn’t suit your plans.
Relax
Toilet training works best when there is no pressure for you or your child.
If you start getting stressed, wait a few weeks until things are less tense.
If you pressure your child, learning is harder. You can’t ‘make’ your child wee or poo, and it’s even more difficult if they’re upset and tense.
Punishment does not help with toilet training.
Life changes
Any stress in your child’s life, such as sickness, a new baby or starting childcare, can set things back temporarily.
Hiding when doing poo
Many children who are being toilet trained may start hiding in strange places to do a poo.
Your child may poo behind the sofa, inside a cupboard, outside in the garden or anywhere that they feel safe.
It is not known why children do this, and they obviously can’t explain it.
They usually stop doing it, generally without you having to do anything apart from encouraging them to do a poo in the potty or toilet.
Check that your toddler still has easy access to the potty or toilet, including a footstool and special toilet seat if they use the toilet.
Try putting the potty in a more private place.
Don’t get annoyed with your toddler for doing poo in the wrong place. It will not help and can make things worse.
Spreading poo around
Doing a poo feels good, and parents show a lot of interest in poo during toilet training, so it’s normal for toddlers to be interested in their own poo.
Some toddlers get some poo on their hands and spread it around.
This isn’t nice to deal with, but your toddler is not trying to upset you.
There are germs (viruses and bacteria) in poo, but hot water and normal household cleaners are usually enough to clean cots, walls and other furniture.
Constipation
Make sure your toddler has a healthy diet with lots of vegetables and water so they don’t become constipated (hard poo).
Constipation can make it hurt when a child does a poo. They might try to hold on and not be able to push it out, or become very upset.
A warm bath can help relax the muscles – quickly pick him out of the bath, and praise them for letting the poo out even if some goes into the bath water.
See your doctor if the problem doesn’t go away.
Physical problems
If a toddler who has been dry during the day starts to have many wet pants again, they may have a health problem such as a urinary tract infection, or it may be a sign of some big change in her life, like a new baby in the family.